Feeling whimsical...

Its another late night in the lab, and I'm waiting for an incubation period to finish. To pass the time, I go to Facebook, my latest fad of the moment (go to http://www.facebook.com if you're interested) then start blog reading. The one thing I notice with blogs is the ease people can write about what is happening in their lives. Reading them, I get a glimpse of what is happening in their lives, which is a strange feeling. I've commented about this before, when I first started my blog, and I thought that was b/c I was unfamiliar with the blog concept. But I still feel kind of strange reading it, though if you have a blog you know that its up for public scrutiny and other people can read it. But on the flip side, its a chance to express yourself, write about anything you want. Thinking about it now, I realise that I feel uncomfortable about writing about myself, and that I can only write about the things I've done, and its not a reflection of what I'm feeling/thinking. I feel that a good blog is someone who is able to both write about what they're feeling/thinking as well as what is happening in their lives. I read back on my entries, and I feel that isn't the case.

But the point of the blog though is that it doesn't have any criteria. So that probably means I'm analysing the whole blog thing way too much, and I should be able to just write things. I think for me though, I don't like the idea of people knowing too much about me, so this blog is doomed to have a degree of superficiality to it (don't even know if superficiality is even a word). Well you can know me, just not everything. There's a line.

So having said that, what is happening? I guess the problem with my life is that its still a PhD, its still lab work. And I really don't want to go into detail about that, I think about it a bit too much as it is. I guess the main issue, and for a lot of people is balance. That balance between work and non work stuff. Lab work and non lab work. At the moment, it feels like I go to the lab, go home to sleep, then go to the lab again. And so on. I guess if I felt more comfortable with my project ie have more data, I wouldn't be doing it so much. But I don't need that much sleep as long as I get some everyday, and I schedule some relaxation time in there as well. But there is one thing that I've learnt while I've been doing this PhD and that is I like being busy, and having to do lists that are very long, just so I can cross the items off one by one. And though I can do nothing, I do find that I want to do something after a while.

So then, I'm happy and feeling whimsical, hence the confusing nature of this post. I've got my project to keep me busy, and amazing people around me in my life to remind me of what is truly important in life and makes the research worthwhile - especially on those late nights and weekends.

And trying to post more often but how many times have I said that?! :P Its practising self expression and being more openish, without crossing my personal line, without things becoming too uncomfortable...

woo hoo! I'ts the end of the week. What I love about it is not just because its the end of the week and the weekend is coming, coming, but it helps me put the stresses that happened during the week in perspective. The to do list with all the experiments that need to be done never shrinks, and I guess when things are allowed to build up in my mind, I start to stress and panic. And I mean, stress out and panic. Tears, rage and that sort of thing. Its not nice to watch, or experience either. What I'm trying to teach myself to do is to realise when I am panicking/stressing and put it in perspective, that its not the end of the world if something doesn't happen *sigh* still working on realising when I am stressed. I'm so glad there are some special people around me who can tell me when I am stressing and basically tell me to stop. Its a slow, long process...much like science *lol*

Had a girls night out with Roza last night, which was good, as it gave us a chance to talk which we haven't done in a while. Its great to be able to talk stuff out, and put things in perspective. Man, I really like perspective, the word perspective. Perspective. Its very valuable. Also, the woodfire pizza I had wasn't great, but I found cherry ripe ice cream! Yum!

Now its the weekend. As is usual now, going in to the lab but its ok, as I'm used to it now, and as long as I don't spend too much time in there. But there will be fun/relaxing stuff too, so yay, I'm happy and looking forward to it :)